Sisters
by Megan8
Summary: Mary's confused emotions in the aftermath of a tragedy


Sisters  
  
  
  
Author: Megan  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, or other things '7th Heaven'.  
  
Feedback: Yes, please.  
  
Summary: Mary's confused emotions in the aftermath of a tragedy.  
  
Author's Notes: Haven't seen 7th Heaven in a while, thanks to our stupid tv networks. Sorry if the characters are a bit off the mark. The story takes place before the twins, and assumes that the Camdens have been wiped out in an accident of your choice. Only Mary and Lucy live to see another day.  
  
Warning: Slashy, and a bit on the disturbing side at that.  
  
  
  
Pain.  
  
It's a powerful emotion. Eats you from the inside. Rips you apart from the outside. Until you think you can't take it anymore. And then it lets go, just enough to keep you alive. It doesn't kill you, only drives you to the edge. It never kills you. You have to take the last step yourself. You have to make the choice between life and death.  
  
I choose life. I choose it because I'm needed. I choose it because I still need. I still have the need to feel love. Hate. Joy. Grief. Anything, anything that'll replace this pain.  
  
So I cling on to the closest person to me. To the girl who sleeps in the same room with me. The girl who is the first thing I see when I wake up, and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. The girl who has always been there. I cling on to my sister.  
  
She has become my life. There is nothing else as far as I'm concerned. I will hold onto her for as long as I can. And when it's time to let go, I'll do that too. But for now, I will love her with all my heart. It doesn't matter if she is my sister. I need to be close to someone, and she's the only one here, "Lucy?", I whisper quietly in the dead of the night. It is dark. And it's scary in the dark. When you can't see things. Eveything feels so far away.  
  
"Lucy?", I whisper again and creep out of my bed. She doesn't hear me. She's busy dreaming her dreams. Peaceful ones tonight. Nightmares the next. I kneel next to her bed and trace my hand along her bare arm. It feels cold, "Lucy?", this time I say it in a normal voice. And she stirs in her sleep. But refuses to wake up.  
  
I lift her blanket a little and slide under it, next to her. Carefully I place her cold arm under the covers. She still doesn't wake up. I want her to wake up. So I lean real close to her ear and whisper her name again, "Lucyyy...", I drag it on longer than necessary.  
  
Finally she groans and opens her sleepy eyes. It takes a few moments before she starts to catch on to the waking world, "Mmm... who... wha...", she mumbles with a groggy voice, "Mary?", her mind finally connects the right dots, "Couldn't sleep again?", she asks brushing her eyes with her right hand.  
  
I look straight into those eyes and shake my head once. I've woken her up so many times during the past week. Every night. Some nights twice, "Can I stay here?", I whisper the question, "In your bed?", she smiles and nods her head. My sister loves me. A lot, "Thank you", I say and kiss her on the cheek.  
  
Lucy rolls onto her side to face me. We are mere inches apart. I can feel her warm breathe tickle my nose, "Remember how I used to force myself into your bed when we were young?", her voice has reached it's normal tone. It is the sweetest voice in the world. My sister is the sweetest girl in the world.  
  
"I remember."  
  
I remember everything. I remember the biting comments I threw back at her sometimes. Cause I didn't want her there. I remember the teary eyes pleading to me. How could I be so evil to her? How could I do such things to my own sister? I want to go back in time, to erase the hurt I caused. To wipe off the tears from that little girl's eyes.  
  
Acting on an instinct, I move my arm around her back and pull her into a tight hug. I will never again hurt her. Never.  
  
"And remember how angry mom and dad were whenever they found me in your bed?", Lucy talks again after a while. I release my hold a little, so I can pull back and look at her face again. My sister has the kindest, most compassionate features, "Cause they thought I'd never learn to sleep on my own?"  
  
"This time they won't find you. Or me", I answer. It comes out more harshly than I meant, and I can see the sorrow flash in her eyes. I just promised myself I wouldn't hurt her!  
  
"I know", she whispers closing her eyes, "Figures. I never appreciated their little quirks until they were gone."  
  
Gone. That's what they all are now. Mom, dad, Matt, Simon, Ruthie. Dead. Buried. We'll never see them again. This house, that was once full of life, is empty now. Only the memories are left. Sometimes I can actually see them played out in front of me. All of us sitting around the table, eating, talking, laughing, arguing. Matt and Simon fighting over what to watch on tv. Mom kissing dad at the front door, as he's leaving for work. They are so real sometimes.  
  
"Don't ever leave me Mary", Lucy whispers, interrupting my thoughts, "Promise me."  
  
And I won't leave her. I couldn't. I don't think I could live without her anymore. The bond we share now is stronger than anything. It cannot be broken. I see her eyes misting with tears, "I promise", I whisper and lift my hand, moving it closer to caress her cheek, "I love you Lucy. You're more than a sister to me", I talk louder now. With conviction, "You are everything."  
  
A few tears escape her eyes and she buries her head into my shoulder. I can feel her shudder as she starts to cry. There is so much pain in her, so much sadness. So much fear. I don't know if she can ever be repaired to her old self. If she can ever become the lively teenager she once was. I doubt she even wants that anymore.  
  
Lucy cries for a long time. The sobs gradually growing weaker, and her breathing calming down. She drifts off to sleep again. This time I let her. Sleep is the best medicine. Gives you strength to fight through the next day.  
  
It won't take long now for me to join her. When I'm lying next to Lucy, I feel calm. And safe. The pain is not nearly as overwhelming here.  
  
I kiss her lightly on the lips and close my eyes. With Lucy, I am ready to face another day. With Lucy, I am ready to face another life.  
  
  
  
end 


End file.
